Looks Like The Z-Warriors Are Blasting Off Again!/Transcript
DISCLAIMER KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release. (scene cuts to Wukong Hospital where Goku is seen in bandages from his battle with Vegeta) MASTER ROSHI: Hey there, Goku. How goes the recovery? GOKU: Well, the doctors say I should be in here for a couple of months, what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs, and the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage. Oh, hey Master Roshi. When did you get here? DR. FIELDGOOD: Mister.... San Gaaku? You have another visitor to see you. GOKU: What? But all my friends are already here. MR. POPO: (appearing outside a window) Not all of them. GOKU: Uh... uh... uh... (flashback of kid Goku arriving at Kami's Lookout) KID GOKU: Yay! I made it to the top! Now I can train with Kami, the strongest, most powerful being on the... (notices Mr. Popo) Hmm? Who's that? (both Goku and Mr. Popo stare at each other, with the camera moving back-and-forth on their faces before going back to the present) GOKU: (starts screaming) GET HIM AWAY FROM ME! (screams) OH, GOD! OH, GOD! (continues to scream while the nurses try and hold him down) NURSE 1: Hold him down! NURSE 2: Careful, he's injured! SEQUENCE DR. FIELDGOOD: Well, we've finally been able to sedate him. Took us a while; we had to go through some alternative treatment. MASTER ROSHI: Oh, really? What did you use? DR. FIELDGOOD: Something I found under the sink. I think it was... Clorox or something. (cuts to Goku, who is foaming at the mouth) GOKU: (gargles) DR. FIELDGOOD: Well, page me if you need me. MR. POPO: Byyyye. MASTER ROSHI:: Oh, you're still here. Who are you anyway? KORIN: That's Mister Popo. He lives up on the lookout with Kami. MASTER ROSHI:: (looks at Korin) Did that cat just talk? MR. POPO: Alright. Everyone listen up if you want to get those other useless maggots back. KRILLIN: You mean, you can get our friends back? MR. POPO: (sky turns red) Shut up, maggot! KRILLIN: (visibly terrified) Yes, sir! MR. POPO: (sky turns blue) As I was saying, the only hope to get your friends back is to use the Dragon Balls on Kami's home planet: Namek. BULMA: Namek? That's not a planet I've ever heard of. MR. POPO: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn't know any better. What are the odds? KRILLIN: To be fair, Mr. Popo, until recently, I've never heard of that planet either. MR. POPO: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn't know any better. KRILLIN: A-- ga-- god... dammit, I walked right into that one... MR. POPO: Anyway, I'm the only one who knows where Kami's old ship is. And the only one with the transportation to get you there, and this is a carpet made for two. BULMA: Well, I think the only way to fairly decide on this is to have a democratic vote-- KRILLIN: Bulma. MASTER ROSHI: Bulma. KORIN: Bulma. GOHAN: Bulma. YAJIROBE: Bulma. OX KING: Yoooohooo. Bulma. GOKU: (continues to gargle) BULMA: (desperately trying to avoid being along with Mr. Popo) Okay, um... uh... Oh, ha! (takes out a remote) We don't need your help! I've got right here a remote control to one of the crashed Saiyan ships. All I have to do is put in these coordinates and... (pushes some buttons on the remote, promptly causing the Saiyan pod to explode, startling a reporter) TV REPORTER: YEEEEEEE-- (TV shows an off-air color bars screen along with a beeping sound) VOICE: Critical failure! MR. POPO: Well, well, well. Look who just ran out of options. MASTER ROSHI: Dammit, Bulma. Stop being such a scaredy-cat and get on the carpet with the scary genie. BULMA: I swear to God, if anything happens to me while I'm gone, I'm kicking Krillin's ass! (Bulma starts to get on Mr. Popo's carpet) MR. POPO: Oh, you and I are going to get along just fine. (teleports away with Bulma) (scene cuts to the highlands of Yunzabit with Mr. Popo and Bulma appearing on Mr. Popo flyig carpet) MR. POPO: Alright, here we are. Yunzabit Heights. BULMA: Wait a sec... how did we make it here so fast? This is the other side of the planet! MR. POPO: Yep, this carpet gets about ten thousand miles to the soul. BULMA: What? MR. POPO: The gallon. BULMA: But... if you can make it to the other side of the planet so fast, why didn't you help Goku get to the Saiyans when he arrived on Earth? MR. POPO: I was preoccupied. (flashback of Goku at Kami's Lookout) GOKU: Mister Popo! I need your carpet to get to my friends as quickly as possible! MR. POPO: (off-screen) Makin' toast! GOKU: Aw, fine! Nimbus! (flies away on Flying Nimbus) MR. POPO: (off-screen as a "Ding!" sound can be heard) Butterin' toast! (back to present with Mr. Popo and Bulma arriving at Kami's ship) MR. POPO: Here it is; Kami's ship. BULMA: It's old and covered in moss! MR. POPO: I know. Fits, doesn't it? Now, get in. BULMA: But, how do we--? MR. POPO: Popo! (floor of the ship drops down) BULMA: Oh, wow! Your name opens the ship? MR. POPO: Popo! (both he and Bulma gets lifted up inside) BULMA: And it closes it, too. MR. POPO: POPO! (ship quickly flies into outer space and stops in front of Jupiter) BULMA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! MR. POPO: No. It just knows better. Welcome to Jupiter. BULMA: My God, we're so far into space! In such a short amount of time! This is wonderful, Mr. Popo! We can finally save our friends! This is terrific! This is- MR. POPO: POOOOPOOOOOO! (Ships quickly flies back towards Earth) BULMA: AAAAAAAAHHH! (scene cuts to Wukong Hospital) BULMA: And we went to Jupiter in just a couple of seconds! We'll be at Namek in no time! And even better, Popo could be our pilot! KRILLIN: Oh, dear God! MR. POPO: No. KRILLIN: Oh, thank God! BULMA: But... Why aren't you-- MR. POPO: If I was going to do it myself, why would I need you? (shows a startled Bulma) See you when you get back... except... this season... you. (camera slowly zooms in on Krillin's face) KRILLIN: Heh... Whaddya think he means by that? Heh. CHI-CHI: Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere. GOHAN: Actually... Mom, I'm going to Namek. CHI-CHI: (sounding strained) As... I... said... my little boy... (now angry) isn't going anywhere! GOHAN: But Mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility! CHI-CHI: Gohan, I am your mother! And as your mother, you will listen to me, and you will do as I say! GOHAN: But that's not-- CHI-CHI: Did you carry around a baby in you for nine months, with a man who literally thought you had Cinna-Buns hidden in your shirt?! GOHAN: But I-- CHI-CHI: Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL-- GOHAN: SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!! (awkward silence) GOHAN: (calmly) I'll be going to Namek, now. CHI-CHI: (walks towards the door; also calm) You'd best. (slams the door behind her) BULMA: Well, uh... better get started on that ship! GOHAN: Please hurry... (scene cuts to Bulma and Dr. Briefs working on the Kami's ship) NARRATOR: With that, Bulma got to work on the ship to prepare it for their travel. BULMA: Hey, Dad. How are things coming along? DR. BRIEFS: Well, I'm working on your translator, but all I can get it to do is translate the Namekian into another language I don’t understand. TOILET: Toire de arimasu! DR. BRIEFS: Damn moonspeak! (scene cuts to Kame House, where Bulma, Krillin, and Master Roshi are seen in front of Kami's spaceship) NARRATOR: And in ten days, the remaining warriors were recovered and ready to set out to Namek. KRILLIN: So, you sure this thing's ready to fly? BULMA: Yep! I've gotten everything worked out. Well, except for one thing... We couldn't fix the translator for the toilet. TOILET: Ich bin gefüllt mit pisswasser! MASTER ROSHI: (notices a twinkle in the sky) Hey, I think I see their car. (Chi-Chi, Ox-King, and Gohan arrive at Kame House) KRILLIN: Hey Gohan, how are yo... (notices a blushing Gohan with a bowl haircut) ...OH, MY GOD! What happened to your head? You look like a young Moe Howard. GOHAN: Well look who's talking, Curly! KRILLIN: Why, I oughta...! BULMA: (angrily) Clam it, chowderheads, we gotta get going! GOHAN: Bye everybody! CHI-CHI: Now Gohan, don't make any friends with any questionable strangers! That includes you, Krillin! KRILLIN: So Bulma, where do I put my stuff? BULMA: (angrily) Sit down, strap in, and shut up! KRILLIN: Uh, alright. So Gohan, how much stuff did you bring? GOHAN: Well, Mom packed my bags, so there's a lot in there. KRILLIN: Well, you know what they say, "Always be prepared." BULMA: Popo. (Spaceship quickly blasts off into outer space) KRILLIN and GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! SEQUENCE STINGER (cuts to Wukong Hospital with Goku still gargling with foam in his mouth) GOKU: (while gurgling) Bacon...